"Boundaries" is a word people toss around casually in today’s world, and it’s often heard in therapy and recovery sessions. But what does it mean and how can you use setting boundaries to establish good habits, healthy relationships, and a foundation for success?
Setting boundaries is a key component of happy, sober living, so it’s important to learn this important skill during recovery, however this can be tricky because you may feel overwhelmed with physical and emotional challenges during this time.
Let’s take a good, thorough look at boundaries and how setting boundaries can help you during recovery and for the rest of your life.
What Do Healthy Boundaries Look Like?
We all create, maintain and try setting boundaries with our daily actions, whether we realize it or not. When your telephone rings, do you immediately toss aside your work and give your full attention to whomever wants to talk, or do you ignore the phone call completely because other people’s needs are not of interest to you?
Most people would agree that neither of these responses will lead to a healthy relationship. Healthy boundaries are neither too open nor too closed. A reasonable balance between the two extremes will produce results that promote healthy relationships without guilt.
Setting Boundaries During Addiction Recovery
Boundaries become messy for people who are dealing with addictions. You may find yourself pushing away those who truly love and care about you, while at the same time becoming unreasonably intimate with strangers who feed your addiction.
It’s challenging to push the restart button on boundaries after they’ve been distorted, either by familial patterns or addiction, but it’s certainly possible to put your boundaries back into place after they’ve been distorted by addiction. As you re-establish healthy boundaries, you’ll be constructing a healthy framework for your recovery.
Distancing Yourself From Friends Who Are Still Using
One of the most difficult things for those in recovery is to create firm boundaries with friends who are still using. Your friends may feel betrayed, or they might even make fun of you for wanting to change. Nevertheless, if you really want to recover, you’ll need to create healthy boundaries with these friends.
Talking over how to establish boundaries with your therapist or sponsor can help you to identify what’s reasonable and helpful. Your boundaries might include times of day when you see or talk to these friends or places you meet them. Meeting these friends only in public during daylight hours and in non-triggering environments is one way to maintain contact without putting yourself in a compromising situation. Identifying these boundaries in advance with your support system is key to your success.
Re-establishing Relationships with Those You’ve Pushed Away
If you have pushed away loved ones during your addiction, recovery is a good time to move those boundaries back to their former, healthy states. Spend time with family members and friends who are supportive of your recovery and who will help you to meet your goals. Relationships with supportive people can help you to protect your recovery and set you up for future success.
Setting boundaries during recovery is key to your long-term success. Spend the time and energy necessary to adjust and reinforce them.
Setting boundaries is a key component of happy, sober living, so it’s important to learn this important skill during recovery, however this can be tricky because you may feel overwhelmed with physical and emotional challenges during this time.
Let’s take a good, thorough look at boundaries and how setting boundaries can help you during recovery and for the rest of your life.
What Do Healthy Boundaries Look Like?
We all create, maintain and try setting boundaries with our daily actions, whether we realize it or not. When your telephone rings, do you immediately toss aside your work and give your full attention to whomever wants to talk, or do you ignore the phone call completely because other people’s needs are not of interest to you?
Most people would agree that neither of these responses will lead to a healthy relationship. Healthy boundaries are neither too open nor too closed. A reasonable balance between the two extremes will produce results that promote healthy relationships without guilt.
Setting Boundaries During Addiction Recovery
Boundaries become messy for people who are dealing with addictions. You may find yourself pushing away those who truly love and care about you, while at the same time becoming unreasonably intimate with strangers who feed your addiction.
It’s challenging to push the restart button on boundaries after they’ve been distorted, either by familial patterns or addiction, but it’s certainly possible to put your boundaries back into place after they’ve been distorted by addiction. As you re-establish healthy boundaries, you’ll be constructing a healthy framework for your recovery.
Distancing Yourself From Friends Who Are Still Using
One of the most difficult things for those in recovery is to create firm boundaries with friends who are still using. Your friends may feel betrayed, or they might even make fun of you for wanting to change. Nevertheless, if you really want to recover, you’ll need to create healthy boundaries with these friends.
Talking over how to establish boundaries with your therapist or sponsor can help you to identify what’s reasonable and helpful. Your boundaries might include times of day when you see or talk to these friends or places you meet them. Meeting these friends only in public during daylight hours and in non-triggering environments is one way to maintain contact without putting yourself in a compromising situation. Identifying these boundaries in advance with your support system is key to your success.
Re-establishing Relationships with Those You’ve Pushed Away
If you have pushed away loved ones during your addiction, recovery is a good time to move those boundaries back to their former, healthy states. Spend time with family members and friends who are supportive of your recovery and who will help you to meet your goals. Relationships with supportive people can help you to protect your recovery and set you up for future success.
Setting boundaries during recovery is key to your long-term success. Spend the time and energy necessary to adjust and reinforce them.
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